on writing v. being a writer

First posts tend to be mission statements, and far be it from me to disappoint. Thus:

I don’t write as much as I should.

I had been avoiding the whole weblog phenomenon because I am not entirely comfortable with the solipsistic nature of most incarnations of the ‘blog. I’m sure that format serves a useful purpose for some, but I honestly think that the minutae of my daily life would bore any possible readers as much as it bores me.

On the other hand, I have been spending a fair amount of time recently wondering why I find it so difficult to pursue any of the creative endeavors I claim to enjoy–particularly writing. Yes, there is the “I work with books all day, why would I want to do more of that at home” excuse; the “what’s the point if no one is going to read it” excuse; and of course the “but there is so much more Battlestar Galactica to watch” excuse.

That’s exactly what those are, though: excuses. I think that were I to be honest with myself I would have to admit that while I enjoy writing, while I believe I have some talent in this area, I have never felt myself to be “a writer,” in that it is not part of my identity. To be fair, there are few things that I consider myself to “be” inherently. While I suppose the pro and cons of my aversion to identity politics can be the topic of a later post, suffice it to say that I see writing as something I do, rather than something that I am. But I think that’s part of the reason why I am less motivated to actually put pen to paper: it’s not like I’m a writer or something.

Secondly, as my friend Mabel pointed out a number of years ago, there isn’t much point to writing without an audience to read what you’ve created. While I don’t necessarily agree with this in every circumstance, it is true for substantive writing. At the end of the day, creating something is difficult. It takes a fair amount of effort. Not having an audience with which to share the fruits of that labor just leads to a tree-falls-in-the-forest situation.

Anyway, I am sure the direction of this discussion is obvious. You, dear Reader, get to be my Audience. And as to whether I am a “writer” or simply “writing,” I suppose that’s not the sort of thing that is up to me to decide.

Plus, I need somewhere to post picutres of the shirts and things I’ve been making.